BLNC

BLNc

"JUGGLING SAVED MY LIFE, AND AS A KID I GOT SO MUCH INSPIRATION FROM OTHER JUGGLERS: SHOWING ME HOW ONE COULD JUGGLE, SPARKING MY IMAGINATION, BUT ALSO SHOWING ME THAT WHAT WE DO HAS VALUE AND MEANING. AS A SIGN OF GRATITUDE TO JUGGLERS, I MADE BLNC.”

HOLY was the first piece created, formed as a stage piece. The concept was to research as many ways as possible to balance rings, and then strip it down to its essence. Each part of the piece is designed to fit together seamlessly. A juggling piece with as much juggling as possible and everything else removed. Lights, clothing, music these are only to support the juggling, nothing more.

"Every time I see juggling treated disrespectfully, my stomach hurts and I get sad. To me, juggling is holy. The piece wasn't made for me, nor for you. It's for juggling. As a thanks to all it gave me, I try to give back. This isn't juggling for the masses, nor is it juggling for jugglers. HOLY is juggling for juggling.

With the project HOLY I started to face my vulnerable sides rather than escaping them. I think I am a human, and I've never been comfortable being called a boy, but I've never really managed to express that in words before HOLY.

Now, when I call my self Öx and use they/them pronouns, it just sits right. My dead name feels more distant by the week. I feel like Emil Dahl is my artist name and Öx is closer to who I am inside.

There was a time in my life that I identified so much as a juggler that seeing myself a human was irrelevant. Sure, I'm a biped, sure, I'm a human, but that didn't really matter to me. Juggling mattered."

HOLY has been performed 22 times in 14 cities.

Photographs: Florence Schroeder, Teresa Santos

read the full piece in yana vol. 3